Let’s Get Real

Happy Sunday!

The life I thought I would have at age 24: in law school or have an awesome job, living in an awesome apartment in Southern California, with an amazing boyfriend and going out a lot. The life I actually have: in law school, living in Memphis still, single (24 years going strong), and THE absolute definition of a homebody. Hahaha oh life. Well I guess the good thing about this is that after a longgggg time of wishing I had a guy who actually paid attention to me, I just don’t care anymore. Seriously. I look around me and I’m probably one of the very few people in my circle of friends that isn’t in a serious relationship or married. Is it me that’s the problem I used to wonder (lack of looks, personality, etc…), which in turn made me act AWKWARDDDDD around guys I thought were cute. But something in me just finally let go of all of the stupid stuff I used to do and worry about regarding that. And another good thing about my 15 year old fantasy not entirely coming into fruition yet is that I still have some growing up to do and CA is probably not the place for me to do that in yet.  But also, I’m afraid of life after schooling aka “the real word.” I have been in school for 20+ years. I’ve had every step of my life planned out. Now though, I am realizing that my next year and a half of life will be unpredictable and that is sad and scary for me as a control freak. What if I don’t get a job? What if I turn 35 and I still am single and alone? What if I become unhappy for a long period of time? The hard work that has paid off for me in the past doesn’t yield the same results that it used to. However, I need to get used to the unpredictability of life otherwise it is going to be an uncomfortable ride for me. ha. I can’t just sit in my cushy little spot and avoid it forever.

Also, this…

Happy New Year!

Happy 2015 everyone! I hope you all’s has been off to a great start. As the new year approaches, so do new goals. I have a few of my own (in no particular order).

Save up for my (forever dream) of vacationing west. I don’t know when I’ll be going but being active about my dream. I want to go to LA (visit as a grown up), San Fran, Seattle, go hiking on the pacific west coast, Napa Valley, La Jolla, etc… Any tips on saving or where specifically to go when I do venture out west?

Be kinder to myself and others. This one will be a toughhhhhh one.

Stop making excuses for myself and live life a little less fearlessly.

Less time on social media/being in the moment. I took a break for two months at the end of last year and I didn’t miss it, but I did realize that I spend way too much time on it and on my phone in general, so I’m going to be more present. This includes eating dinner in the kitchen without my computer or phone. Just me.

Spend more time with friends. I’m THE definition of a hermit crab.

Let’s see if I can keep up!

Workout Wednesday

When I started law school I foolishly foolishly foolishly thought I could keep up with my 2 hour workout sessions 6 times a week, eat perfectly and have my what I thought at the time “gross body.” Boy oh boy was I wrong and very disappointed. In short, I’ve easily gained 20-30 pounds since August 2013 and all of my health philosophies have virtually gone out the window. I was upset with myself for a really long time, but now I understand how I should fix my line of thinking and focus on realistic goals that fit with ME personally. No scale, no “follow so and so for 6 weeks plans” work for me. I like making my own weekly routine Sunday nights, and that’s what I need to get back doing again.

And my advice for getting started and staying on track when it comes to getting in shape and eating right: Be consistent and find what works for YOU. For me, getting on the scale made me depressed and hate my body, so I quit that. Also don’t eat something just because it is healthy; eat it because you like it and it is good for you! Same goes for working out; if you don’t like lifting, don’t do it. Do what makes you happy and keeps you healhty.

So on to my actual “Workout Wednesday” post! I have been a fitness junkie for 5 years. I love learning about fitness and seeing other peoples views on it. Today’s feature will be one of my favorite routines from when I first started my interest in fitness: Jamie Eason’s Plyometric Card Routine. I was obsessed with bodybuilding.com and all of the fitness models so that’s how I found Jamie. She’s awesome and has some great recipes (her chili is SO good). This a great routine because it can be done at home and requires no equipment. She explains it all in the video. I haven’t done this one in years, but I’ll have to try it soon. Let me know if you like it!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzePnm_dbTE

Blog Overhaul

Hi everyone!
It’s been awhile since I posted but I’m thinking about doing a blog overhaul & redesigning my blog. I love sharing food, fitness, my thoughts on life and bad reality tv so that would be my focus. Is there anything that you’d all like me to post specifically about? Let me know!

Update

There’s 7 weeks left in the semester so now I HAVE to study a lot harder and quit fooling around.
I’ve been trying morning workouts and it so far so good! Loving it. Let’s see how long it lasts.
I’m thinking of taking a break from all social media. Think it might be a good thing. Cutting off distractions.
I’m ready for December. Break from school, my birthday baking, Christmas. Perfection.
I got Lena Dunham’s new book and I can’t wait to read it.
I am really loving wearing my hair natural hair now!!
I’m ready to have boot weather for awhile. It’s still 80+ degrees in Memphis!
Have a new 5 year plan for myself and it is time to put it in action!
Not much of an update so there ha go people!

Thinking Out Loud.

I do not know why I decided to get in shape and be healthy four years ago, but it became somewhat of an addictive behavior. Once, I dropped the weight abd people started complimenting me on how great I looked, I had to keep going. I guess somewhere in my mind, I thought that because people didn’t find me “good” looking before. I was EXTREMELY fit and healthy and worked out a lot, but I was depriving myself of a lot of things. In the end, I was focusing on how much I hate my body instead of just being fit an healthy. Well fast forward to now. My time is limited so I am not able to work out 2 hours/day 6 days/week. I let the law school diet get to me and now I am NOT where I used to be physically. But somehow someway, I’ve become okay with that (for the most part). Spending my life like that is not fun and no way to live. Having a healthy body image and believing that I am beautiful and smart on my own is the most important thing; not having abs. I have spent a good portion of the last few years wondering what is wrong with me and why boys don’t like me, but all my friends have someone else and I am the ugliest duckling. But I have got to stop the negative thinking or I will spend my entire life unhappy with myself, as well as eliminating things and people that make me feel that way.

All I want is to feel beautiful, smart, and happy. I MUST and have to start working on that now. Life is too short.

(P.S. I go back and forth with this a lot so I could feel compeletly different in two weeks (or hours).

Hola!

Here’s a picture of the current hairstyle that I’m rocking (well one that I have been) and I LOVE IT! It has taken some time for me to grow into liking it but I do now. Anyway, here’s what’s been going on with me in bullet form:

• School: not much has changed. Overloaded with work (that is the definition of law school). But seem to be handling the stress better than I did last year.
• Health: I’ve gone 10 days without a soda! Attempting to go entire month without having one. Then next will be sweet tea (I’m a Southerner). I am taking a much more logical approach to this part of my life this go around. Our long workouts 4-5xs a week. Eating healthy but not severely under eating.
• Personal: Nothing going on there (by choice)
• Self/Esteem: Forever and always. Still fee like I am miles and miles behind my friends and that I am not nearly as (insert positive adjective) as they are.
• Current Obsessions: Wanting a juicer (but what’s stopping is that a lot of the fiber is taken out of the things you juice because of the pulp. Also I tend to have a 30 second huge fad and it fades, so this might be one of those things), Being Organized with school, The Olympia, My awesome idea for a costume, seriously thinking about moving to the west coast within the next 2 to 3 years, beach.

Unsure

I’m an overtly sensitive and worrisome person when it comes to EVERYTHING IN LIFE. Currently what bothers me the most is school and my personal life. How I thought my law school life would be isn’t the way I thought it would turn out so far. I’m not as nearly successful as my friends and colleagues and I don’t feel that I’m smart enough to be here. I love school and I really enjoy learning about the law, but I just really struggle with whether or not I’m good enough. I try so hard and work so much but my efforts come up short.

Also when it comes to my personal life, I feel as though I’m not attractive enough or alluring to be with anyone & my personality is just too abrasive at times. I feel as though I have a good heart and try to be nice. I just always have this thought in the back of my head that I will always be alone for my entire life and that I’ll never find anyone who takes even the slightest interest in me.

I pray that I am wrong on both accounts and that I can keep trying to be positive and work hard.

Lately

My life lately (as told in bullet point style)

– school is school (stressful, but somewhat fun)

– working out (REALLY trying to lose the freshman 15 (or 25) that I gained as a 1L)

– forever feeling less than and not as attractive as other girls

– (sometimes) wishing I weren’t single

– trying to get my push press to 135lbs

– chopped is the best show

– I’ve been making smoothies & they are awesome (pictures above is strawberries and cucumbers!)