Happy Sunday!
The life I thought I would have at age 24: in law school or have an awesome job, living in an awesome apartment in Southern California, with an amazing boyfriend and going out a lot. The life I actually have: in law school, living in Memphis still, single (24 years going strong), and THE absolute definition of a homebody. Hahaha oh life. Well I guess the good thing about this is that after a longgggg time of wishing I had a guy who actually paid attention to me, I just don’t care anymore. Seriously. I look around me and I’m probably one of the very few people in my circle of friends that isn’t in a serious relationship or married. Is it me that’s the problem I used to wonder (lack of looks, personality, etc…), which in turn made me act AWKWARDDDDD around guys I thought were cute. But something in me just finally let go of all of the stupid stuff I used to do and worry about regarding that. And another good thing about my 15 year old fantasy not entirely coming into fruition yet is that I still have some growing up to do and CA is probably not the place for me to do that in yet. But also, I’m afraid of life after schooling aka “the real word.” I have been in school for 20+ years. I’ve had every step of my life planned out. Now though, I am realizing that my next year and a half of life will be unpredictable and that is sad and scary for me as a control freak. What if I don’t get a job? What if I turn 35 and I still am single and alone? What if I become unhappy for a long period of time? The hard work that has paid off for me in the past doesn’t yield the same results that it used to. However, I need to get used to the unpredictability of life otherwise it is going to be an uncomfortable ride for me. ha. I can’t just sit in my cushy little spot and avoid it forever.
Bloggin' Britt 